1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two antennas walk into a bar, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
6. Two cows walk into a bar, Daisy cow says to Dolly cow:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!", exclaimed Daisy.
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
8. A bull walks into a bar and the bartender gets a Deja Moo: The feeling he's heard this bull before.
9. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says:
"I'm going to have to put him down."
2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two antennas walk into a bar, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
6. Two cows walk into a bar, Daisy cow says to Dolly cow:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!", exclaimed Daisy.
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
8. A bull walks into a bar and the bartender gets a Deja Moo: The feeling he's heard this bull before.
9. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says:
"I'm going to have to put him down."
"What!!??, because he's cross-eyed???"
"No, because he's really heavy."
10. An invisible man walks into a bar and meets an invisible woman. They get married. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, he just waved.
"No, because he's really heavy."
10. An invisible man walks into a bar and meets an invisible woman. They get married. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, he just waved.