The Poopie List
Ghost Poopie - The kind where you feel the poopie
come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie - The kind where you poopie it out,
see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the
toilet paper.
Wet Poopie - The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwiped, so you have to put
some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie - This happens when you're done poopieing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie - The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie - The kind of poopie that is so
huge, your afraid to flush without first breaking
it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassy Poopie - It's so noisy, everyone within
earshot is giggling.
Corn Poopie - Self explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie - The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie - That's where it hurts so badly
coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie - (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get
splashed with water.
Liquid Poopie - The kind where yellowish-brown
liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie - It smells so bad your nose burns.
Upper Class Poopie - The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.
The Suprise Poopie - You are not even at the toilet
because you are sure your about to fart, but
OOPS!- a poopie!
The Dangling Poopie - This poopie refuses to drop
into the toilet even though you know you are done
poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will
cut it loose.
12 Quick Jokes
1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two antennas walk into a bar, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
6. Two cows walk into a bar, Daisy cow says to Dolly cow:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!", exclaimed Daisy.
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
8. A bull walks into a bar and the bartender gets a Deja Moo: The feeling he's heard this bull before.
9. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says:
"I'm going to have to put him down."
2. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4. Two antennas walk into a bar, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
6. Two cows walk into a bar, Daisy cow says to Dolly cow:
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!", exclaimed Daisy.
7. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
8. A bull walks into a bar and the bartender gets a Deja Moo: The feeling he's heard this bull before.
9. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says:
"I'm going to have to put him down."
"What!!??, because he's cross-eyed???"
"No, because he's really heavy."
10. An invisible man walks into a bar and meets an invisible woman. They get married. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, he just waved.
"No, because he's really heavy."
10. An invisible man walks into a bar and meets an invisible woman. They get married. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
12. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, he just waved.
Marketing in female terms
People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say
"I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says
"She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his
tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says
"I hear you're fantastic in bed"
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof
of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs
"I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say
"I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says
"She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his
tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says
"I hear you're fantastic in bed"
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof
of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs
"I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
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