The gender of objects

You may not know everyday objects have a gender, for example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male.  But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Art that plays with your head





























Fear and Loathing in Facebook

There are many people out there running around like chickens with their heads cut off, panicking about Corporate Big Brother sniffing up their internet butts.
It's worse now because there are employers out there who think it is perfectly OK to ask you for your Facebook password in their interviewing process:


As we all know, Corporate Big Brother wants to make sure his employees are good little mindless drones. You know, symmetrical sprockets to be coupled into his machinery without a cinch. He loves double standards and is super anal like that --even when Corporate Big Brother might be cheating on his wife with the secretary and/or swindling millions from other people.

Yet here we are, with our party attitude, throwing the middle finger, and getting wasted because that's just more fun to do.

Well fear no more my friend. I gots me some good advice here for ya!

Take a lesson from Corporate Big Brother: Learn to keep your social life separate from your professional life DUH!!!

Yes you must do this EVEN IN THE INTERNET.

Unless of course, you're the type of employee who can go up to his/her boss and say "Hey there, let's go to lunch. I'll show you how drunk I got last night. I got so many pictures you're going to love. I may have said bad stuff about you, but nothing I don't say to your face already"

Now that's what I call a great job, but that's not true for everyone :-)

So for those of you afraid of being crushed by the teeth of the corporate world:

  • Create a "professional profile" with what you want an employer to find and use it to keep in touch with your professional contacts. Dump all your info there 'cause that's what you want your Corporate Big Brother to find. Your date of birth, your sign, your dog's name, favorite golf club, etc. All this info ALONG WITH YOUR PROFESSIONAL EMAIL:
John.Smith@What.is.thy.bidding.my.master.com

  • Create a "social profile" which only your friends can see. I doubt an employer is going to look for "MC Peepants" sucking on a bottle of cheap beer. Of course, USE YOUR REGULAR EMAIL:
MC_Peepants@budweiser.com

If this is too much work, keep Facebook for professional use only and another site as a social site. That's another way of doing it.

Just like in real life, use common sense. You don't show your mooning pictures to your boss and you don't show your expense report to your drinking buddy. Neither one gives a rat's butt about that.

THE END
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