Swim & Ride

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy:

"Son, how old are you?"

"Eight", the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied: "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

Imitating

Suppose that there is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.  By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now suppose that there is a blind man that wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses.  How should he express himself?

He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."  If you got this wrong......you should not tell anyone.

Guilty Conscience

Doctor Darren had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him:

"Darren, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be the last.  And you're single. Let it go..."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality...

"Darren, you're a vet..."

A Bit Lower...

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.  "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: 

"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away:

"Hello, we're down here..."

Mirror Mirror

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four"

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says

"Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

Again, there's a bright flash... and his legs fall off.

Drunken Confession

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church and sat down in a confession booth, saying nothing.

The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing.

The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replied, "No use knockin', mate, there's no paper in this one either".

Are you complaining?

If you think you are unhappy, look at them If you think your salary is low, how about her? When you feel like giving up, think of this man If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does? If you complain about your transport system, how about them? If your society is unfair to you, how about her?

This Strange World

Before, During, and After Marriage

BEFORE MARRIAGE

DURING MARRIAGE

DIVORCED

Mind Readings: During Tennis